Conservation Report: Crocodylus Siamensis

In this project, students were asked to choose a conservation issue in Cambodia of their choice and to write a conservation report for it. This can be a habitat/ecosystem or species. I decided to choose Siamese crocodile because it is now one of the critically endangered species, with only 300 variable wild individual worldwide. As Cambodia has the most purebred individuals, the conservation activities of this country can significantly affect the reintroductions of this species to its habitat, especially Vietnam and Thailand (and maybe Indonesia as well) where this species had become extinct.

Conservation Report

Crocodylus Siamensis: Siamese Crocodile    

Crocodylus Siamensis also known as Siamese crocodile is one of the four most threatened crocodile species in the world. Since 1982, Siamese crocodile became an endangered species, and in 1996, this species was accorded as the International Union for Conservation of Nature Red List with the status of “Critically Endangered.” Currently, there is approximately 300 wild, adult Siamese crocodiles remain worldwide, which means that 99% had extinct from its initial population, mostly due to habitat loss and being hunted. This species has become extinct in two of its five native countries, Vietnam and Thailand. Even though the status of this species in Indonesia is unclear, there is a high probability that the species was extirpated. However there are a few of the adult populations in Laos, and the country with the most viable Siamese crocodile population is Cambodia, approximately less than 250 adult Siamese crocodiles.

Like other crocodile species, the Siamese crocodile has a large range within its ecological niche in term of food; it feeds on a wide variety of prey such as invertebrates, frogs, reptiles, birds and mammals, including carrion. This species, is an inhabitant of freshwater, including: slow-moving rivers and streams, lakes, seasonal oxbow lakes, marshes, and swamplands. As Siamese crocodiles is an apex predator within the freshwater ecosystem, especially in Cambodia, it also plays a role of a keystone species. Siamese crocodiles play an important role in maintaining the balance fish populations within the freshwater, its consumption on predatory fish allows small fish populations to increase. For Cambodians, those small fish populations are the primary food source for the local residents within the ecosystem.


This species is widespread in the wetlands and freshwater ecosystems in Southeast Asia, but due to habitat loss and commercial harvesting. Although, nearly all extinct, still around 60000 Siamese crocodiles are being commercially harvested to make leather products: bags, shoes, accessories, and decorations. For many countries, it is illegal to raise Siamese crocodiles without a license, and furthermore, it is also illegal to do any trades on the species. Countries such as the United States and nations of the European Unions banned the market of all Siamese crocodile-leather products, therefore, the main market for such products is only in the Asian countries.   


Initially, in Cambodia, the decrease of the Siamese crocodile population started with human modification of wetlands and waterway. However, within this past few decades the population has drastically declined as the collection of eggs, young and adults Siamese crocodiles increase; which either use for illegal farming and raising of crocodiles or overseas trading. With the population of only 300 wild crocodiles left, there isn’t a lot of variation within the genetics of the species. Action such as hybrid-ing and farming crocodiles only worsen the situation because of hybrid crocodiles becoming feral and contaminating the wild stocks.

   Continue reading “Conservation Report: Crocodylus Siamensis”

Final Research Topic

After developing my research methodology, I realized I had made a huge mistake by making an assumption that heuristic, especially Anchoring Bias which is the tendency to believe in the first given information, influences students’ comprehension. Therefore, I decided to take a step back and try to understand different influences on students’ behaviors. I proposed a new research topic: Relationship Between Students’ and Teachers’ Behaviors in the Classroom. Through, this new research topic, I study to see if there is a relation between a certain behavior with students’ comprehension, which will be measured through the engagement of the students in the classroom. I will be taking video and audio of the lesson, and later analyze the recordings by counting different behaviors such as: how many time did the students talk, how many time the students laugh, how many hands gesture the teacher used. Which will be used to do statistical analysis on the association between behaviors.

Evolution of Spermatophytes

This creative speech was written for a “Kingdom Characters Project” from the perspective of seed plants or seed-bearing plants. Spermatophytes are plants that reproduce sexually, requires the fertilization of female and male gametes. Before the evolution of spermatophytes, plants reproduce through spores, sporophytes. Below is a short explanation of why the evolution of seed plants changes and affects the growth of other species populations.


Kingdom Characters: Spermatophytes


Hi, I am seed plants.

I come in two forms as either angiosperm or gymnosperm.

Have flower and seeds or have seeds.

I am any plants that reproduce by seeds.

(Proceed to point to the window and point to plants: “that’s me” and “that’s also me”)

If you want to further see the molecular structure of me, please open to page 45 in your textbook.


If you look at the trophic structure, I am at the bottom of the chart. The primary producers. The reason that all the other terrestrials organisms survive.


I absorb carbon dioxide, water, and use sunlight energy to create food, glucose. Energy for all other terrestrial animals. So you should be grateful because now, I dominate the whole plants’ population. Without me, there is no food.


So, imagine life without me, and that you all have to live only off sporophytes. There is just not enough energy around!

Look I am not trying to look down at sporophytes or anything; I meant I evolve from it, my ancestors. But let’s just say, the evolution is on my end right now.


Dating back millions of years ago, scientists are still not sure, but they predict that my ancestor is some multi-cellular plants. The bryophytes, they are short/small because they need to move the water throughout its structure. And they reproduce with spores. Later on, they went through an adaptation to have vessels that help to conduct water and nutrients, the rise of sporophytes.


Then I came in afterward, the evolution of the seed. I mean I come into being like 360 million years ago, during the later part of Devonian Period. It took a lot of time to become who I am today. The spore-bearing plants still dominate until the later part of Carboniferous. However, the start of Permian was when my form and function fit the environment better. As at that time, the temperature started to drop and became drier.


Spores don’t have the mechanism to wait, they have to germinate right away. So with the lack of water, their population started to decrease. And that where I’m coming in and continuing to grow until today. Seeds have a significant advantage here, I have seed coat to protect the embryo. There are cotyledon and endosperm that provide nutrients to the embryo, so my population doesn’t have to germinate until the right condition. Allow my populations to produce fertile offsprings.

Continue reading “Evolution of Spermatophytes”

My Freedom Day

CNN is currently hosting a movement called “My Freedom Day” aiming to see different perspectives of what is freedom. For many including myself, freedom is the ability to express who I am and to speak of what I think is right. It is all about the fight to have a better life. But on the other hands, there are people who are fighting for food, who are abused, who had to do inhumane activities to take one more breath, to survive; and they also called this, “a fight of freedom.”

Should these fights be under the same title, “freedom”?

Should these be valued as the same fight?


For me, freedom is the ability to speak my perspective of what is right

To involve in a societal decision

But for others, freedom is the ability to survive

To have enough food to eat, to have shelter, or to take one more breath



These are two different fighters under the same title


But they should not be the same fight

As one is to seek for a better condition, and another is for survival

I’m not trying to take anyone on a guilt trip

But on this FreedomDay, let takes a moment if to not help but you acknowledge there are people who are being abused and taken advantage of, who had to do inhumane activities to take one more breath, to survive.

To acknowledge that on the same mean, there are people who are fighting a more severe battle.


Short Story:

Combat Against the Issue of Feeding the Global Citizens



Over the last two decades, organic waste had increased by over 20%. With 40 tons of food waste are thrown into the landfill last year, it comes to Specis Government for International Goal, a Specie government agency for promoting global improvement, that this issue of food management should be actioned individually by each nation.


New Applications and Regulations:

The Species agency had voted for new regulation, increasing importing and exporting tax of organic/edible products/yields by 50%. Which it would disclaim that there will be a sudden change in prices of food in the next few months.  


Laws and Regulations:

Demands all restaurants/food stalls donate edible food to a local Home-Shelter by the end of each day (24:00);


Requires all restaurants and individuals who produce over five kg of organic waste per day, to bring this waste to a local Compost-Center daily;

          Decides that for all individuals that produce less than five kg of organic waster per day to bring this organic waste to a local Compose-Center weekly;


Requires all grocery stores and markets to donate any cans and any stored food to a nearby Home-Shelter a week prior to its expiration date.


Please visit for extra information.


In my opinion, these new regulations were rather ridiculous.

What does the government expect? That we double the price of our food?

With this new importing tax, the price of vegetables and meat had been rising up to 50%. Now restaurants are struggling to run without raising the price of their dishes. A business is meant to make a profit.


Sure enough, Specis is one of the richest countries in the world, with no poverty, we are the lead of every politic/economic development.

Of course, no one would die of hunger, even with this absurdly expensive food. But why do we have to take this action into our own hand? What about other nations that are also a part of the Government for Internation Goal? Especially, what are Non-Government for Internation Goal Nations do? They are the counties that suffer significantly from this issue.


Fortunately, I was not the only one that opposed these stupid laws. A group of people, in fact around a thousand, was now protesting against these new laws. Seriously, no one cares about making compost. And for the name of god, what does the government do with it anyway? As a country that thrives by the advancement of technology, we imported over 75% of our food; there is no point of making compost. And even so, most of the food here was from hydroponic and aquaponics! This is stupid and that is final. We don’t export food! We only import them. This law is to give more money to other nations! Stupid!


It was my rights and my freedom to express what is right. So here I am, standing in the blazing sun at the Government of Foreign Affairs, to tell them why they are wrong. I looked around, everyone around me, actually including myself, was covered in sweat. This is one of the biggest protests. We are one of the most peaceful countries, everyone is so happy with what the government is doing, until now. I looked at everyone individually, the determination in their eyes gave me the strength to fight from the oppression of these ridiculous laws. With that note, I pulled my long obsidian lock and twisting it into a bun on top of my head.


“What do you think of these new regulations?” I screamed into the microphone.



F-ing Stupid.


“Do you think that these are solutions to the issue of feeding the global citizens?,” screamed someone from somewhere, I couldn’t really tell. But, we all answered no.

There was a bit of yelling, but no violence. We don’t do violence. The most aggressive thing that happened today was probably when someone dropped the f-word.


I was exhausted by the end of the day, wanting nothing else except going to bed and sleep. But while we were protesting, the government had announced that all GIG nations had set new regulations to combat this issue. So ignoring my weariness, I turned on the TV.


The government of Singha and Miban had increased their importing tax by 40%.


The government of Ciya had set regulation to fine every individual for creating food waste based on the amount of food waste. There will be a monitor at each public waste-bin, to calculate how much a person would pay. And every garbage truck will have a system to calculate the waste also.   


There is no information regarding Kidlen’s decision toward this issue.


It is final. All members of GIG, except Kidlen, are going insane. Which nation creates regulations that harm their own citizens in orders to help citizens of other nations?! Kidlen is like the sanest one right now. God, I hope they don’t drop at “law bomb” any time soon. Ciya has some issue, like for the name of GIG, everyone is going to create food waste. This is like increasing tax but in the name of saving the world.


Over the next to weeks, I have a set schedule: wake up, protest, TV, and then sleep. And a lot of eating in between each activity.  


Nothing had happened. It seemed as though the government had no intention to resolve this conflicted-perspective between protestors and the government; maybe except for the fail reassurance that they are “working” on making every citizen satisfied.

However, our group now had grown up to around two thousand members. Officially the biggest protest within the last century. I guess the increase of import-tax was what set people off. Instead of the government of other nations demand for a rise of tax; Specis, plus Singha and Miban, is willing to give away money.

Take more of my money, I am rich. Help your citizens. What’s a saint!


After making a raucous today, I came home to TV. And Kidlen finally announces its position for this issue. Another increase in importing tax. 60%.


Utterly Stupid.

I was about to turn off the TV when a documentary came up.

I was captured by the chocolate emotionless eyes; it was like staring into a void, a vacuum with no emotion. It is inhumane, he is so young to not laugh or smile or….. hope. The hallows of his cheekbones. I watched as his bony fingers wrapped around the pole for support, as he stared blankly at the cameraman, into the camera. Unlike what I had learned and saw through documentaries, this kid didn’t ask the cameraman for help. It was like he understands that there is no help. That the world is full of indifference, and that all his freedom is, to survive and take the next breath.


I went to bed that day, knowing my freedom and understand the full extent of it.


Waking up the next day, I walked to the front of the Government of Foreign Affair with the right decision.

I looked at the people around me. Those who were here not because they are selfish, but because they don’t see a better solution.

I raised the microphone to my lips and took a long breath before I used my freedom to show the reality of this issue.

“I am here to compromise,”

“I want to help solve this problem but in a different way,”

People around me shushed down, they know me by now. I was the loudest one in this protest, probably due to this microphone.

“I want the law to increase the stupid tax to be gone,”

I got a cheer from the majority of the protestors.

“I want us, Specis, to directly donate food to the group of people who needed it,”

I got no response.


“Isn’t this what we want? To help others? The increase in tax is in the right direction. But I demand that we manage the extra tax portion; use it to help those who are suffering from wars and natural disasters.”

“I want to clarify that we are protesting not because we are unethical and ignorance but we have noticed that there is no guarantee that the people will benefit from this law.”

“The corruption within Non-GIGs’ government is something we all can’t deny. Just like the dying children, who see his/her future as when will he/she gets the next meal.”

“We will help people learn how to live rather survive!”

“It is time to set the world to the right track of this issue.”


The adrenaline hit me hard in my stomach. I was numb by the end of the speech, but I knew that the government had heard. The cheers and the encouragements were just background noise because the government had heard the words and that was all that matter.

We will help people learn how to live rather survive.

Should Genetic Engineering be Used in Science?

This assignment is to write an argumentative essay whether genetic engineering should be used. Every student wrote an essay based on their research or/and opinion and we had a debate on this topic. At the end of the debate, we had agreed upon creating an organization that would in charge of all scientific research. We believe that science research should be a resource that share between all researchers in a database. 


Un-Ethical Usage of Genetically Modified Organisms

Does banana suppose to have seeds? The answer is yes, or at least before scientists had genetically modified the fruit. The commercial bananas that we found in our local market have small specks of black dots, that was supposed to be the seed of the fruit. Now, we can only find seeds, usually around 1 cm in diameter, within wild banana species. Genetic recombination had dated back to over 30,000 years ago when humans altered gene of wild organisms to domesticate them through a process of selective breeding. However, scientists started to directly alter the DNA of organisms in 1973, by replacing different genes within the DNA strand. Currently, genetic engineering is a gateway for scientists to help combating malnutrition, disease, and climate change. However, scientists don’t stop with just plants, genetic-modified animal has become a common research topic within genetic engineering. This alteration mainly focusing on affecting the gene of the organism’s offspring such as to reduce/increase the lifespan of a species, to change in the likelihood of produce male/female offspring, or to completely add a new characteristic/traits to that animal. With such a big range of alternatives of which genetic engineering can cover, there should be a border as to what scientist can do.


In 1990, European scientists had worked on a project that believed, to be the rice that could save a million kids a year, to combat vitamin A deficiency. This Golden Rice is conventional rice that had been altered to have a rich level of vitamin A. The only difference between white rice and this genetically modified rice is the presence of beta-carotene which helps to enrich vitamin A. There are two versions of transgenes that achieve this goal; one is to a gene from corn and another from an ingested soil bacterium, which helps rice to produce beta-carotene by allowing rice to activate its metabolic carotenoid pathway. This project created with an aim to help children that suffer from vitamin A deficiency which could lead to childhood blindness, weak immune system, and increase the vulnerability to illnesses such as measles, respiratory infections, and diarrhea which sometimes result in death. However, currently, there only a few nations that publicly announced that the Golden Rice is safe to consume in countries such as: Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the United States, Philippines, and Bangladesh. Thereby, the Golden Rice still not available for distribution or on the market, showing that nations that needed this bioengineered rice the most still don’t have access to it.


On the other hand, as the global temperature increases, scientists have been working on food production for the future. Altering genes of different crops to adapt to climate change. The increase of drought and the elevation of carbon dioxide and ozone level are few of the outcomes of climate change. Therefore, scientists have been working on altering genes of crops to build a tolerance to a lower level of precipitation, higher exposure to sunlight, and lower accessibility to nutrient. However, this ambition is rather difficult to achieve as scientists are limited to exploiting the existing genetic variation to only those crops that are very close relatives. Furthermore, within the unpredictable environmental stress, scientists are still struggling to find specific gene recombination that allows adapting to a large range of environmental stress. In addition, with the current GMO crops are still significantly more expensive than conventional crops, most farmers still couldn’t afford the GMO even though, it could lead to higher yield and product quality. Therefore, this aspect of gene modification might not be necessary. Why do scientists spend large expense, resources, and time on something that couldn’t be implemented besides from a higher economic country?   


The number of cases of mosquitoes borne diseases has been increased for this past decade, and it is no surprise to know that scientists had genetically modified the gene of this nuisance insect. With up to 91 countries had suffered from mosquitoes borne-disease epidemic, Oxitec had genetically engineered Aedes aegypti, a vector of dengue virus, specifically males, to that they carry a lethal gene and release them to breed with the wild females. When offsprings inherited this gene, they would die in the larval stage. Which leads to a 5o percents decrease in the population. This same technology has proven to have a greater impact in other countries such as the Cayman Islands, Brazil, Malaysia, and Panama, up to 90% of the Aedes aegypti population had lost. Is this the success scientists trying to achieve, to wipe out a species? The most unethical part of this research is the lack of small experimental trials before release GM mosquitoes into the ecosystem. Scientists haven’t studied the relationship between mosquitoes and other species beforehand. Thereby, it still is unclear regarding the impact of the loss of mosquitoes population.  


Although, many of the research projects related to genetic engineer have a positive result, successful in that gene alteration projects, the effect of GMO in the ecosystem is still uncertain. There isn’t long enough trails that study introduces a species into the real world, which means that there is a possibility of an adverse effect. Furthermore, genetic engineering is unethical, this technology was created to solve a global issue, but the availability of GM crops/products are still unavailable for the majority of the world.


Works Cited

“Biotechnology for Crop Adaptation.” Climate Technology Centre & Network, 25 Jan. 2019,

“From Corgis to Corn: A Brief Look at the Long History of GMO Technology.” Science in the News, 23 Oct. 2016,

“Genetically Modified Mosquito Sparks a Controversy in Florida.” Yale E360,

“Golden Rice: The GMO Crop Greenpeace Hates and Humanitarians Love.” Genetic Literacy Project, Genetic Literacy Project, 9 Jan. 2019,

Mayer, Jorge. “Golden Rice Project.” Why Golden Rice,

“The Banana Seed.” ProMusa – the Banana Knowledge Platform, banana seed.

Different Forms of Energy

Energy: the ability to do work


Every movement we make requires energy. There are six forms of energy.

Chemical Energy: energy that stores within the bonds

Mechanical Energy: energy of a moving object

Thermal Energy: energy of the motion of molecules (or heat energy)

Radiation Energy: energy of lights, electromagnetic waves

Electrical Energy: energy of the movement of electrons

Nuclear Energy: energy stored within the nucleus of an atom

In our daily life basis,  energy had converted from one form to another; because according to the laws of thermodynamics, energy cannot be created or destroyed.


In this image, it shows that a girl is cycling. The peddling produces thermal energy and mechanical energy. The mechanical energy is then converted into electrical energy to heat up the water. Which the boiling water then produces thermal energy.


Relationship Between Lesson and Students’ Comprehension

Research Topic: Using Anchoring Bias to Improve Highschool Student’s Comprehension of Social Study Lessons

Lessons within social studies are known to be “multidisciplinary and interdisciplinary”, meaning that there are many different academic subjects such as political science, human geography, sociology, involve to approach and comprehend a societal issue. Therefore, this field can be subjective, meaning that students can use their own opinion to comprehend or make judgment of the matter raised in the lesson. According to the concept of judgment under Uncertainty: Heuristics and Biases by Kahneman and Tversky, 1974, anchoring bias would affect student’s comprehension and memorization. Anchoring bias is a tendency to use the first giving information to make a judgment, therefore, those students’ decision making is evolved around the first fundamental information. This experiment seeks to understand the relationship between the first giving information (anchoring bias) of the social lesson and students’ understanding of a topic and their opinion regarding the issue raises in the lesson. This study aims to set a neutral first given information, that allows students to make rational information within a bias to influence their conclusion.

Observing Osmosis in Bok Choy

This lab was aimed to visualize the concept of osmosis, a process in which a cell loses or gains water depending on the concentration of solute relative to the cell. In this experiment, the solute is the salt, while water is the solvent. Students were divided into a pair- given a vegetable to each team, and we had to measure the movement of the water.


Introduction to Osmosis and Dehydration Lab:

Osmosis is a form of diffusion, the process in which cells uptake or lose water; water molecules move across cells’ membrane to a location with a higher concentration of solute, which in this experiment is the salt. Brassica rapa subsp. Chinensis (commonly known as Bok choy), just like all other living organisms have cells and tissues that are composed of mostly water. Therefore, organisms’ cells will lose water to the saltier (hypertonic) outside environment, causes it to dehydrate and shrink, which is also called plasmolysis. In addition, organisms’ cells will gain water from the freshwater (hypotonic) solution, allows it to gain mass. Due to another form of diffusion, organisms will also gain salt, due to the higher salinity of the solution, the salt molecules would be moving into the plant cells, which contains less salt content. Thereby, the organisms that are put in the experimental groups’ solution, will become salty.

Osmosis and Dehydration Lab

Active Listening

In this term, we learn about communication, one of the topics we covered in class is active listening.

A conversation requires both parties to pay attention. People often use the analogy of a ping-pong game to describe what a conversation should be like, taking turn talking. Besides from this essential point, it is also fundamental to listen to what others say. Being an active listener would show the speaker that, you are paying attention to what they are saying.

Three basic steps to becoming a better listener. *These are the steps that I especially struggle with.

Step 1: Listen to understand rather than listen to speak.

Personally, sometimes I found myself listening to find the opportunity to jump into the conversation. It is common for people to listen to find flaws, or chance so that they can talk about their own idea. However, in order to become a better communicator, we also need to be a better listener. A way to listen to understand is to mentally take notes of what the speaker said.

Step 2: Showing small gestures of understanding and verbal encouragement.

Nodding your head as a sign of agreement, if you agree with the point, would show that you are having a similar idea, this would encourage the speaker to talk more about their idea. Saying small verbal of encouragement such as “oh, I see” or “I understand” helps the speaker to understand their tone and information.

Step 3: Giving a small summary of what the speaker said.

I personally find this strategy helpful, not only that I am able to pay more attention but rather understand what the speaker said fully. This is an opportunity to check whether your interpretation of the information is correct. As well as a way to show the speaker that you’re listening.   

Mythical Dream by Nassa Veness

This story is the prequel of a short story collection calls “Mythical Dream.”


Mythical Dream

By Nassa Veness


All readers of this book have been asserted the right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act “Unknown” to be identified as the authors of this work.


First published: Unknown

ISBN: Unknown

For my beloved readers,

Be aware of what is a story

And what is not

With all my love and wishes


Once upon a time, there was a girl who took her first breath as her mother took her last. Once upon a time, there was a girl who smiled at the world she born into, as her father cried to the unjust of his wife’s death. Once upon a time, there was a girl who looked at her mother, but her mother could no longer see her. Once upon a time, there was a girl who looked at her father, but her father was too broken to see her.

The man learned the hard way of the idea that everything has its own consequences, that people don’t have the power to change the destiny, even when they know what’s going to happen. Even if, they manage to save something valuable, something else that worths as much will be lost.


Her birth brought nothing but bad luck, many villagers, friends, and family, had warned the man about how this girl would bring catastrophe to him, but he refused to listen. It wasn’t the love he had for the girl, he didn’t have any, but rather a promise to his wife, who died so their daughter could live to see the world. It was the only thing he could do for his beloved and now dead wife.

He tried to his full potential to take care of her, however, he was just a caretaker and never a father. Sometimes, he wondered whether she is really bad luck. In the moment of doubt, she seemed to be; after her birth, his crops yield had gradually decreased. Four years ago, he became sick, and no healer had any clue of what was wrong. Everyone concluded that it was the girl’s fault, that she was a witch who traps him in all of these unfortunate events. Maybe they were right, maybe this now 16 years of age, daughter of his is a witch; after all, she is beyond his wife. He could feel her the energy of her aura.  

No matter how much doubt he had on the girl, the sharp chocolate eyes of hers were a copy of his wife’s. Those were the eyes that he was in love with, but of course, they now belonged to the wrong person. Once in a while they brought him hope, but mostly it was a dagger, that consistently slicing his heart. Those eyes were the reminder, of the hollow within his heart, the numbness within his body, and the loneliness within his soul. But predominantly, it served as a nag, whispering to his ears that this creature that he lived with was biologically related to him and that she processed part of his wife’s soul.


As his body grew weaker, his mind became clearer, he became more relaxed. It didn’t matter, whether he lived with a witch. It didn’t matter, whether she tried to speed up this deadline, he would soon be able to see his wife. That’s what happens when good people like him die, who isn’t a sin like her; he would be reunited with those he loves and lived the eternity together.

After four years of drinking this medicine, after four years of being sick, the man weakly smiled at the cup of the bitter, plants brewed of a cure in his hand. This would be his last time to ever drink it. It would kill him but he would gladly accept this fate because it would get him out of this misery. He was tired of breathing and not living, tired of being in this body that didn’t have a soul. He quickly glanced at the girl sitting near his bed and offered her his first smile, since the day she born. “You can’t change what will happen, don’t try to. It will kill you, I swear it will always be the person you love the most,” he said as he stared into the chocolate eyes.

Thank you, was the last thing he said before he sipped the medicine, and collapsed into the bed.

The warning was disturbing, however, her mind was overwhelmed by his gratitude, thank you. The words still echoed in her head, that was probably the only time she saw the man without his emotionless mask. The closest experience to having a father.  The smile on his face swamped the butterflies in her stomach. It was the closest thing to an I love you. It was the best decision she had ever made. His eyes were still opened, but he could no longer see her, his own death had healed his broken pieces. His dilating pupils were staring straight at her, but the happiness clouded his visions. He would soon see his wife, a mother she never had, and it didn’t seem to matter to him that she would now have to fight this world alone. As much as she hated him for never been a father, she knew that killing him was the only way for him to ever experience happiness again, and she did it for him. But most importantly, she killed him for those who are alive.     


Everything had consequences, normally the people within the village blame her for no particular reasons, except for the fact that her mother died as she gave birth to her. However, this time was different, they were right to say that she killed her father, but that wasn’t necessarily mean she was wrong. It was for the best. He even agreed with her. He knew what she put in the medicine, and he decided to drink it anyway. Nevertheless, there was no argument with these constricted-mind people, she would never win an argument with them. Because they are not logical, neither mythical like who and whatever she is.

So not long after, people started to raise the issue of dark magic, of her being a witch. They were right, she is something different, she saw what was going to happen and she changed it for them. They should be grateful, but of course, no one showed any indication of gratitude or understanding of how much she sacrificed for them. And instead, they betrayed her by banishing her.

Now homeless, she navigated the forest by herself. However, her conscience told her to not go far away from the village. Walking for a few more minutes, following the rhythms of the water pouring down the cliff, she came upon a waterfall.

After knowing what her father planned to do, staying near water is the closest place where she could reach for serenity. Where clear water jumping off the rocky ledge into the pool below, molecules after molecules in a repeating pattern that seemed to never end, a regularity that she knew she could rely on. The image of the glaring red and orange still flickered in her head, even though her father had been dead for two days.

Walking along the rocks that barricaded the pool of the water stream, she spotted a small footpath. Walking along the path, she noticed that there used to flower beds grew in rows along sides of the footway leading toward a cottage. Unfortunately, those flowers were now rotten and decayed due to the lack of tending a fairytale ago. Approaching the cottage, she realized that it was still quite new, even though, it covered in years of dust and dirt. Standing in front of it, she could catch a glimpse of its beauty before the dust and time covered its brightness. However, when she tried to hold on to its beauty, the image before her eyes flickered back to its dustiness. No matter how dull and dirty this place was, it had a sense of home. Her heart warmed at the thought of stepping into it, the familiarness of it all drawn her toward it. Even though, she never stepped into this cottage before, but she had a feeling that it will welcome her home. For the first time in life, she might find a  place that would be a home and not a house.


The first night at this new home was strange, it was the first time she had a dream, that she couldn’t make sense of. “if you have to choose between her and me, chose her.” What does that suppose to mean? Who is that “me”? And who is that “her”? She didn’t consider much of the dream because a dream was just a dream, her life moved on and so she should walk along with it.


Just because she left her village, that didn’t mean that she wanted to live like a wild animal, not like there was anything wrong with wild animals. But no matter what, she needed to join the civilization. One couldn’t isolate herself from her own species. So, one early morning, she set off to a nearby village, where she knew she would be able to somewhat blended in. No one knows about her mother, no one knows about her father. She worked as a fortune teller-ish magician, people seemed to be fascinated a person who can “tell their future or past.” It wasn’t like she told them something news, just simples things that she could read of them. Their name, age, family, something that happened recently, something that was still clinging to them. They did not know that she could see beyond with more time, like with her father, she could read him like a book.

Before sunset, she would travel home, back to her cottage where she belongs. Although, most nights, she would bed plunged into the same dreams of the unknown source whispering “if you have to choose between her and me, chose her.” Now the dream was okay, she got used to it, she could push into the back of her consciousness. It would be her best choice to ignore the strangeness and focused on being normal.


Her fame of being the best fortune teller-ish magician caused people to line up and meet her. It was enduring, for the first time, people didn’t accuse this ability as witchery, rather they worshipped her, like she a goddess. And then there was a day when he came in. Seeing his face, she knew his name, his history, and his struggles. It was rare to find someone like her, someone that belonged to a group but managed to still be an outcast. When she first met him, it was like a dream comes true. She knew that she was no longer needed words to describe how she felt, he would understand.


Now laying with her head on his shoulder, they shared stories, while staring at the roof of her cottage, their cottage. The wooden pillars, that was what he promised to be. To support her world from falling down, to be there for her. To be the first and only person who understands her. Maybe, from now on she could understand what it was like to be normal. To have someone who loves her unconditionally. All her stories matter to him, even the stupid dream. “If you have to choose between her and me, chose her.” He tried to decode it with her, making suggestions, everything she said seems to be valuable to him.  

Each morning, they went to the village together and came back together. In addition to the waterfall, this routine was a repeating pattern that she could rely on. Or so, she hoped to rely on. Despite all his promises, the pattern broke, when she woke up and he was gone. Panic rushed through her body, fear clutched her heart, she could not lose him. She could not live without him by her side.


Out, she ran through the door, only to be awestruck by a blanket of smoke that fogged the blue sky. Confused as to what caused such a smoke, she cautiously walked to the direction of it. Until the smell of the smoke hit her nostrils that when she knew what it is. Panic ruptured her through her body, her fingers started to shake, her lips quivered from this shock. This couldn’t be happening! She was supposed to end it the day that her father died, she was supposed to change the future. She quickly started running back to the place she used to shelter, the place of her miserable childhood. As much as she hated it there, she couldn’t stand the thought of losing it. Losing everything that she was apart of.

Time slowed down as she turned back and glance at her home. A feeling of certainty that she wouldn’t come back, struck her. How dumb could she be? The familiarity, the welcomeness, the dreams, it all made sense. Here was where the promise lies. Here was where her mother asked her father to choose her instead of herself. “If you have to choose between her and me, chose her.” She was supposed to die, but her mother saved her. Because of saving her, her mother died. Dumbfounded by the fact that her boyfriend left her, dumbfounded by the truth of her childhood, she ran toward the smoke source and promised to never come back.


The eeriness of silence hit her ears, there was no vigorous chirping of birds and insects. There were no snarls, and whispering behind of her back.

She scanned the landscape of this aftermath, there was nothing left except for a tree that lost all it leaves to the hands of the veil flames. Everything turned down to ashes. The place she killed to save was now a pile of dirt and dust. Everything was gone, the houses, the shops, the plants, the people. Wasn’t this what she supposed to stop? The flashes of images of flames within her father’s eyes the day before she killed him.

A moan traveled through the air, she looked up and see that a man slump against the tree. She almost laughed out of joy. Almost. Until she noticed that the person is her boyfriend.

He smiled at her as he told her that he burned this place for her, as he closed his eyes and joined the eternity. He did everything, he killed everything to destroy and untangle her from her past. And that was when she understands. “You can’t change what will happen, don’t try to. It will kill you, I swear it will always be the person you love the most.”

She can’t change what will happen. She shouldn’t try to. It came and killed her because it was someone that she loved the most that did it. Her boyfriend set the fire, that her father supposed to set.



I am deeply thankful to those who taught me to be aware of what is a story and what is not.